Here we are, 3 days after the funeral (which was beautiful) , and we are trying our hardest to get back to normal. Mom is doing well considering and I don't think I really have had the time to really grieve yet since I'm so busy taking care of Mom and the house and my kids and work. Part of me is angry about this and I feel guilty, but I know that is wrong.
We are very thankful for those that came to the services. It really lets you know who really cares and who your 'true' friends are. I will be honest here, since what do I have to lose? There were some people that didn't come that should have and it makes me very upset and angry. But, life goes on and I have to focus on my family and healing now.
Today, when we checked the mail, the nicest thing was in there. Yes, there were mass cards and other cards, but there was one card that really stood out and made me smile. It was a card from one of Dad's cousins. It wasn't the card that made me smile, but what he wrote. He shared memories that he had of him and Dad growing up. Of all the stories Mom and Dad have told us all these years, I never heard the stories that he wrote about. It really warmed my heart. Then Mom and I sat on the deck and she shared more stories of the two of them and how they used to live across the street from each other in the garden apartments and such. I really enjoyed it. If anyone else has stories they would like to share, it would be awesome to receive them. I really don't have a lot of pictures of Dad when he was young either so if anyone has any, I would for you to send them.
Although time goes on, it seems to be getting harder and harder, but I'm sure eventually it will get easier. I found a poem that made me cry and seems as though it was written for my Dad. I will leave you with it:
God looked around his garden And He found an empty place. And then He looked down upon the earth,And saw your tired face. He put His arms around you,And lifted you to rest. God's garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering, He knew you were in pain, He knew that you would never Get well on earth again. He saw the road was getting rough, And the hills were hard to climb, So He closed your weary eyelids, And whispered "Peace be thine." It broke our hearts to lose you. But you didn't go alone, For part of us went with you, The day God called you home.
RIP Dad, we miss you and love you
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Arrangements
Services will be at:
Plunkett Louis Swift Funeral Home
529 N York Rd
Hatboro, PA 19040
215-672-6262
Funeral will be at:
Washington Crossing National Cemetery
830 Highland Road
Newtown, PA 18940
Phone: (215) 504-5610
Viewing: Tuesday, August 2, 2011 from 6 - 8
Funeral: Wednesday, August 3, 2011 10:00 a.m.
Plunkett Louis Swift Funeral Home
529 N York Rd
Hatboro, PA 19040
215-672-6262
Funeral will be at:
Washington Crossing National Cemetery
830 Highland Road
Newtown, PA 18940
Phone: (215) 504-5610
Viewing: Tuesday, August 2, 2011 from 6 - 8
Funeral: Wednesday, August 3, 2011 10:00 a.m.
At Peace
I am with mixed emotions to say that Dad is now at peace with no more pain or worry or struggle. He passed on Thursday, July 28th. He is the strongest man I will ever know, but he met his match with the cancer and after 2 long years of battle, he is now with God. I am so proud to call him my Dad.
Funeral arrangements are being made today and I will update when I have them.
Funeral arrangements are being made today and I will update when I have them.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Another Day
I got up early this morning and was with Dad at 7:00 a.m. in order to be there when his doctor got there and of course the doctor didn't show up until almost 11:00 a.m. Just my luck
Dad had a rough night. He woke up somewhere around 3:00 a.m. and had a horrible nightmare about being in a war. He woke up and thought it was real and got out of bed by himself on the wrong side and ended up getting all tangled up in his wires. From the story I got he did finally push the call bell and the nurses came rushing in and had to calm him down and get him back in bed and unraveled. When I showed up I saw the sign on his door that said "bed alarm" and right as I read it, the one nurses aide saw me and said your dad is making all that noise (I could hear the alarms going while he was moving around in his bed. They are very touchy)
Good thing about today is Dad has lots of help since today the student nurses where there so every time we needed something, someone was there really quick. After I spoke with Dad and he told me what had happened the student nurse came in and explained to me what she read about the incident as well. I was very upset and started crying. Let me back track a bit since I didn't get to update yesterday evening. I found out last night that dad hasn't had any pain meds since Monday after the NG tube went in. Which, is good that he isn't in pain anymore, but doesn't explain his 'loopiness'. So, after hearing what happened during the night and seeing him this morning, I'm just very worried that something isn't right with him.
Alot went on this morning, but while the nurse was giving him his bath she noticed that his port was leaking. She called in the nurse and she had to call the IV nurse to the room. Turns out he must have pulled out his needle from the port last night during his scare. I was upset and voiced it about how the nurses didn't check it after they got him back in bed, but of course everybody present now wasn't there during the night.
Finally the doc came in and I voiced my anger about the nurses not checking the port and he did make me feel a little better stating that sometimes it's hard to know that it's not in because of the tape that is around it to hold it in place. That made me feel better. He said it's not as bad as the nurses made it sound and they put an IV in his arm to get his 'sugar water' for today and then tomorrow they should be able to access the port again so they can resume his nutrition, etc. We also discussed his 'loopiness' and the doc is ordering bloodwork to see if there is anything funky going on. He did say that liver disease can sometimes cause excess ammonia to be in the blood and that could be the cause, but the test will show us if there's anything going on. He also said that he will order another XRay to see how things are going. He said he wants to make sure that there's not a block also in his small intestines. But, he said when we first came to the hospital and they did the XRay that it didn't show any signs, but he wants to be sure. I let the doctor know that I had to leave soon so he has my cell number and will call me with the results.
Later, Dad's case manager had visited and we discussed his occupational therapy and physical therapy that he will start receiving today. She stated that they will evaluate him throughout his stay and that will determine whether or not he is safe enough to go home or whether he will need to go to rehab when he's released. She also discussed that he'll be getting trained on how to take care of his ostomy bag and the person that will be there for him should also learn. Well, I guess that will be me since Mom can't do it. I'm not sure that i'm ready for this, but of course, it's my Dad, and I will do anything for him.
Clark and I were up to see Dad last night and we brought him a VCR and some movies since he's extremely bored and really doesn't like TV. He was happy about it, but of course last night we couldn't hook it up because the wires weren't long enough. Today when the one nurses aide was in the room she saw the DVD and I told her what happened and next thing you know she brought in a table and we were able to set it up for him. Now the problem was that Dad had requested a box set that he had, but it was about War. We turned it on and as I watched the first minute of it, I said to him that I didn't think this was such a good idea especially with the dream he just had last night. He agreed, so later I will bring him something more of a comedy for him.
Looks as though Dad is in this for the long haul and probably won't be getting out for at least another week. I hate seeing him like this. He's so sad and bored and angry and weak. I could keep going on with the ANDS.
I finally got back home around 1:00 and will now attempt to get some work work done for Todd and take care of Mom and then will go back to the hospital later on.
Dad had a rough night. He woke up somewhere around 3:00 a.m. and had a horrible nightmare about being in a war. He woke up and thought it was real and got out of bed by himself on the wrong side and ended up getting all tangled up in his wires. From the story I got he did finally push the call bell and the nurses came rushing in and had to calm him down and get him back in bed and unraveled. When I showed up I saw the sign on his door that said "bed alarm" and right as I read it, the one nurses aide saw me and said your dad is making all that noise (I could hear the alarms going while he was moving around in his bed. They are very touchy)
Good thing about today is Dad has lots of help since today the student nurses where there so every time we needed something, someone was there really quick. After I spoke with Dad and he told me what had happened the student nurse came in and explained to me what she read about the incident as well. I was very upset and started crying. Let me back track a bit since I didn't get to update yesterday evening. I found out last night that dad hasn't had any pain meds since Monday after the NG tube went in. Which, is good that he isn't in pain anymore, but doesn't explain his 'loopiness'. So, after hearing what happened during the night and seeing him this morning, I'm just very worried that something isn't right with him.
Alot went on this morning, but while the nurse was giving him his bath she noticed that his port was leaking. She called in the nurse and she had to call the IV nurse to the room. Turns out he must have pulled out his needle from the port last night during his scare. I was upset and voiced it about how the nurses didn't check it after they got him back in bed, but of course everybody present now wasn't there during the night.
Finally the doc came in and I voiced my anger about the nurses not checking the port and he did make me feel a little better stating that sometimes it's hard to know that it's not in because of the tape that is around it to hold it in place. That made me feel better. He said it's not as bad as the nurses made it sound and they put an IV in his arm to get his 'sugar water' for today and then tomorrow they should be able to access the port again so they can resume his nutrition, etc. We also discussed his 'loopiness' and the doc is ordering bloodwork to see if there is anything funky going on. He did say that liver disease can sometimes cause excess ammonia to be in the blood and that could be the cause, but the test will show us if there's anything going on. He also said that he will order another XRay to see how things are going. He said he wants to make sure that there's not a block also in his small intestines. But, he said when we first came to the hospital and they did the XRay that it didn't show any signs, but he wants to be sure. I let the doctor know that I had to leave soon so he has my cell number and will call me with the results.
Later, Dad's case manager had visited and we discussed his occupational therapy and physical therapy that he will start receiving today. She stated that they will evaluate him throughout his stay and that will determine whether or not he is safe enough to go home or whether he will need to go to rehab when he's released. She also discussed that he'll be getting trained on how to take care of his ostomy bag and the person that will be there for him should also learn. Well, I guess that will be me since Mom can't do it. I'm not sure that i'm ready for this, but of course, it's my Dad, and I will do anything for him.
Clark and I were up to see Dad last night and we brought him a VCR and some movies since he's extremely bored and really doesn't like TV. He was happy about it, but of course last night we couldn't hook it up because the wires weren't long enough. Today when the one nurses aide was in the room she saw the DVD and I told her what happened and next thing you know she brought in a table and we were able to set it up for him. Now the problem was that Dad had requested a box set that he had, but it was about War. We turned it on and as I watched the first minute of it, I said to him that I didn't think this was such a good idea especially with the dream he just had last night. He agreed, so later I will bring him something more of a comedy for him.
Looks as though Dad is in this for the long haul and probably won't be getting out for at least another week. I hate seeing him like this. He's so sad and bored and angry and weak. I could keep going on with the ANDS.
I finally got back home around 1:00 and will now attempt to get some work work done for Todd and take care of Mom and then will go back to the hospital later on.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Hanging in there
Went and saw Dad this morning. He's doing well. He's very weak and a bit down since he now knows he won't be coming home until next week. He was really hoping to get home tomorrow, but since the set back with the small intestine, there's just no way. The pain meds have him a bit out of it and he's getting frustrated when he can't remember things. I told him that it's because of the meds and he'll be fine when he doesn't have to take them anymore. The therapist was in today and took him for a walk and spoke with him about getting him a walker instead of the cane. He's still on nothing by mouth except sips of water or gingerale which isn't making him happy either. He's still on his pain meds and is still getting his antibiotics. Doc was in this morning, but Dad doesn't remember what he said. I'm going to see if I can go early in the am tomorrow so that I can catch the doc when he makes his rounds. Of course, you never know when he will be there, so I'll have to just get there early early and hang around until he does.
I'm going to try and make it over there again later, but I first have to take Mom to the doctor since her knee is becoming infected from her fall. It's always something.
I'm going to try and make it over there again later, but I first have to take Mom to the doctor since her knee is becoming infected from her fall. It's always something.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Relief
OK...it's been a tough day. I was speaking to Dad on the phone this morning and he didn't sound right. Of course, he's all doped up from his meds so talking to him is a chore, but he was telling me how he was throwing up alot, couldn't eat, his back was killing him, and the nurses were never coming when he called.
I was so frustrated, I decided I needed to get down there right away and went. When I got there, Dad looked miserable. He was constantly tossing and turning and was in pain because of his back. The nurse said to me it's probably from the bed and being in the OR and it's his body 'waking' up after all the stuff going on. I was doubtful. Then he starting vomiting. And let me tell you, it was the most disgusting this I had ever seen. I was so upset. It was black in color and just didn't look right. I questioned the nurses aid and she brought the nurse in. I told her something is wrong and that's not right. She called the doctor and the doctor order an XRay.
Meanwhile, my phone was dying and I needed to make phone calls about work. I go to the parking garage to find that my charger is not there. I was so mad. Then, the storms come and boy they were strong. Of course, I didn't have an umbrella so I tried to wait out the storm, but it was never ending so I eventually hobbled into the hospital (can't run because my knee is still messed up).
I finally get back to the hospital and Dad is sitting in the doorway on the gurney. He said he just got back from XRay. Boy that was fast. So, a short time the doctor comes in and explains that the results show the small intestines are inflamed. So, he said they were going to put an NG tube in which will suck out the fluid that's in there. He said it's a complication that should be relieved in time. I asked the doctor if that's why his back was hurting so much and he said he wasn't sure, but it could be a variety of things.
Well, as soon as they got the tube in, the fluids started flowing and he filled up one cup within 2 minutes. By the time I left he was on his 3rd. We were joking that he really was "full of sh*t". I wasn't going to leave for a while, but Dad said his back was relieved and was thanking me for pushing them to do testing. He was finally comfortable again and said he was going to go to sleep.
So, now he's back on ice chips and of course this set back means that Dad will not be coming home by Wednesday as we had hoped.
I was so frustrated, I decided I needed to get down there right away and went. When I got there, Dad looked miserable. He was constantly tossing and turning and was in pain because of his back. The nurse said to me it's probably from the bed and being in the OR and it's his body 'waking' up after all the stuff going on. I was doubtful. Then he starting vomiting. And let me tell you, it was the most disgusting this I had ever seen. I was so upset. It was black in color and just didn't look right. I questioned the nurses aid and she brought the nurse in. I told her something is wrong and that's not right. She called the doctor and the doctor order an XRay.
Meanwhile, my phone was dying and I needed to make phone calls about work. I go to the parking garage to find that my charger is not there. I was so mad. Then, the storms come and boy they were strong. Of course, I didn't have an umbrella so I tried to wait out the storm, but it was never ending so I eventually hobbled into the hospital (can't run because my knee is still messed up).
I finally get back to the hospital and Dad is sitting in the doorway on the gurney. He said he just got back from XRay. Boy that was fast. So, a short time the doctor comes in and explains that the results show the small intestines are inflamed. So, he said they were going to put an NG tube in which will suck out the fluid that's in there. He said it's a complication that should be relieved in time. I asked the doctor if that's why his back was hurting so much and he said he wasn't sure, but it could be a variety of things.
Well, as soon as they got the tube in, the fluids started flowing and he filled up one cup within 2 minutes. By the time I left he was on his 3rd. We were joking that he really was "full of sh*t". I wasn't going to leave for a while, but Dad said his back was relieved and was thanking me for pushing them to do testing. He was finally comfortable again and said he was going to go to sleep.
So, now he's back on ice chips and of course this set back means that Dad will not be coming home by Wednesday as we had hoped.
uncertain
dad is now back on no liquids. hes been throwing up a lot this morning and its been dark brown in color. the doc was called and dad just got back from xray. they want to make sure there is no obstruction or leakage going on. we are waiting for the results.
please say a prayer.
please say a prayer.
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